Two armed robbers tried to rob a lawyer’s club, but the lawyers put up such a fight the robbers had to flee. Of course I've got lawyers. “Barabas, if you weren’t batting. A lawyer is a man who helps you get what is coming to him. Between grand theft and a legal fee, there only stands a law degree. Law, being a tyrant, compels many things to be done contrary to nature. -- President Theodore Roosevelt, attempting to persuade his son to become a lawyer. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has actually read the inside of the top of the box. You can also check out funny engineering quotes while you are at it. However, similar to any specific Inspirational Quotes on Lawyers. for the other team, I’d marry you.” … They've got about as many lawyers as we have sumo-wrestlers. Javascript and RSS feeds. Murder Investigations. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. A number of lawyers, in town for a court session, were clustered around the fire. It's like buying chicken wire from the fox. I say vague, because when we consider to what extent confidence and honors are reposed in and conferred upon lawyers by the people, it appears improbable that their impression of dishonesty is very distinct and vivid. And have you written speeding tickets for, say, people who were going over … - Patrick Murray; Ignorance of the law excuses no man - from practicing it. Some of the most popular books, TV shows and movies focus on the law and the work of lawyers. Funny Lawyer Quotes 'If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. -- Wheeler's North-American Calendar for 1793, One whose opinion is worth nothing unless paid for. -- David Mellor, British Conservative politician. Discourage litigation. 11 quotes have been tagged as lawyer-jokes: Ilona Andrews: ‘I was so happy to be out of there. Login Sign Up. Pin By 702-DEFENSE On Lawyer Humor. View the comic strip for Free Range by cartoonist Bill Whitehead created February 05, 2013 available on GoComics.com. They referred it to Diogenes who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follows: "Let the thief go first, and the executioner follow. This has led, in some quarters, to occasional suggestions for a new export product. -- Malcolm Ford, to his preschool classmates on what his father, actor Harrison Ford, does for a living. “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” Attributed. Funny, People, Would Be 121 Copy quote. Law, being a tyrant, compels many things to be done contrary to nature. Funny Quotes About Lawyers. 7 / 20. Lawyer Quotes, Iinspirational. "Lawyers Are": The only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from (amongst) themselves. Author: Johnson Quotes Category: Law And Lawyers Quotes End of story. frowned. It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do. And what's more, being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go. "Lawyers Are": Those who use the law as shoemakers use leather; rubbing it, pressing it, and stretching it with their teeth, all to the end of making it fit their purposes. I'll never discuss my lawyer's character in his absence, so let's discuss his absence of character! Imagine the appeals, dissents and remandments, if lawyers had written 'The Ten Commandments'. There is a vague popular belief that lawyers are necessarily dishonest. A small town that cannot support one lawyer can always support two. -Janet Reno; A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. When he had finished a prominent lawyer stood up, shoved his hands in his pockets and said, "Doesn't it strike this company as unusual that a professional humorist should be so funny? Once they made their getaway, they counted their loot. …, TOONPOOL Cartoons - COURTROOM FOLLIES by Toonstalk, tagged judge, court, guilty, trial, cross, examination, justice - Category Media & Culture - rated 3.63 / 5.00. A tradesman of Windham, Connecticut, having occasion to boil a number of cattle's feet, threw the bones at the back of the courthouse. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary". 45+ Quotes On Lawyers Funny . Constant updates of the best funny pictures on the web. 468 Best Images About Lawyer Humor On Pinterest. People now are accustomed to using the internet in gadgets to see image and video information for inspiration, and according to the name of this post I will discuss about Quotes On Lawyers Funny. 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